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Barbershop Chatter
“Good morning young man.”
“Howdy.”
“Come in and have a seat, we’ll get to you pretty soon. Where’s your pretty young woman this morning?”
“Sent her to buy groceries. A feller has to eat.”
“Dat’s right, one of d’ reasons we work so hard here.”
All quiet for a few seconds, then from across the room, “Say Matt, did Chet find a job yet?”
“Don’t believe he did. He’s been outa work over six months. He may get a little part time work. His wife’s got a job but I don’t tink she makes much.”
“Next.”
“I’m waiting for Jeff.”
“We had a lot of trick-or-treaters last night. Did you?”
“Quite a few. Dere were some cute kids. Tree teenagers came by. I got over dat by da time I was ten. Anyhow one of ‘em had on an Obama mast. Da wife gave the other two treats but Obama got nothing. When he protested she told him she was just spreadin da wealth.”
Just then a guy walked in. “What do you charge for a haircut? I been goin to a place where women cut hair and I’m looking for a better haircut.”
“Fourteen dollars.” The guy turned and left.
“Next. How’ve you been, Ben? Haven’t seen you for a while.”
“OK. I’ve been out of town for a few weeks, visiting my mother. She needed some help.”
“How do you want it cut, the usual?”
“Bye now. Come back when we can be of service.”
“How does it look to you?”
“Uh – good, but can you take a little more off the top?”
“Bob’s barber shop. No we’re not too busy. Only one ahead of you right now.”
“Been fishing lately Bill?”
“Yeah. Last week. They were biting pretty good. Going to take my grandson out this weekend. Teach him some of the finer points of the game.”
“Come in my friend, out of the rain.”
“Hi. Can a guy get a haircut here?”
“Sure can. Have a seat. Looks like there’s just one ahead of you.”
“And my wife said she’s going to the beauty parlor, so I thought it a good time to come and get a haircut, so here I am.”
“Did I hear it right? Obama is going to India on another vacation on taxpayer’s money at two hundred million a day?”
“ Yeah. Taking forty airplanes and three thousand people. The country’s already broke.”
“I hope that the Indians keep him and all his freeloaders.”
“There you are. All the ladies will be swooning over you. Finished just in time, there’s your lovely lady to take you home. Hello young lady, how does he look now.”