Mothers are a hardy breed. After going through the discomfort and pain of bearing their young they then have to nourish and care for the babies until they can care for themselves. Of course some mothers are irresponsible, in which case the rule does not apply. In many species the sire of the offspring merely plants his seed and is absent until the next mating season; not so with responsible homosapiens. Some say that only the mother has birth pains. I say fathers also have birth pains. Consider the case of Daddy D.

Daddy D had been a patient husband, treating his wife with kindness and respect. She was due to deliver her baby any day. Do you think the baby co-operated in this venture? Not unless you consider three AM as day. They headed for St. Rita’s hospital at that hour on the coldest morning of the entire year. A nurse took the wife into what they called a labor room and directed Daddy D to a small waiting room where sat some men with uneasy looks. It was no lounge, just a plain room with straight chairs, a few magazines and a couple of ashtrays. Soon one got up and walked around and sat back down again. Then another followed suit. Six or seven hours passed during which time one or two of the men were called out, and Daddy D joined the others in the pacing game. 

“It’s a boy,” a nurse said to Daddy D, much to his relief, “Congratulations, You may see them now,” and led them to their room.

“Meet your new son,” said Momma M, “ Isn’t he beautiful?”

“Uh huh,” said the proud Daddy D, but thinking, “ How could such a pretty young woman have such a ratty looking child?”

After hanging around until a nurse hauled the baby off to the nursery, Daddy D partook of some of the infamous hospital food, and on his way out stopped for a look in the nursery. What he saw was a room full of ratty looking babies, his own not nearly the worst of them. As he walked to his car to go home he felt better about his new son’s looks.

Daddy D’s trip was postponed, for alas the cold night had taken its toll on the battery. It took him two or three hours to over come this obstacle, and got home for a much needed nap.

On homecoming day Momma M was having some trouble in putting a diaper on the baby. She had one hand under the baby’s butt while trying to put the diaper under him with the other. Daddy had to show her how to use the built-in handles that looked like legs to lift his butt.

Nevertheless they got him home all right. 

Grandma came to stay a few days to help out. This worked fine until the baby was put to bed for the night. He must have had a burp trapped, for he cried when put down. Grandma picked him up and burped him and all was quiet until he was put back in his crib. It was tolerable until repeat performances occurred the next two nights. Then it became annoying. Daddy said that the kid was spoiled already.